Children are great storytellers. Especially in what Montessori calls the First Plane of Development (0-6 yrs), each moment lived is ‘reality’ to the young child. Their experience is very much their reality and all of it is “real” and “true.”
Something else I always share with parents is: your child wants to please you. If they have played with toys and they know that you desire for them to clean them up, it is their intention to please. If you ask: “did you clean your toys?” that desire comes through with a “yes.” It may be that your reality is a messy play room (!!) and they need assistance in organizing the mess.
Keep your child’s dignity in tact by offering solutions instead of questions or ultimatums. If you have a hunch that they need assistance for the grand mess that was produced during play time, start there by asking: “do you need some help cleaning the play room?” Do not ask questions that you know the answers to! This only sets the child up for failure.
As a child gets closer to 6 and exhibits the ability to reason, we can offer more. Then the words “trust” and “honesty” can come into play as we discuss these virtues and why it is important to speak the truth so others can build a solid relationship on trust with them.
Just as we want them to be honest with us, we also as adults need to model honesty in our relationship with them. Think about the small things and know that children are keen observers. They know when “5 minutes” is much longer than it should be, or when that special something is hidden in the closet and has not “gone away.” As their model, we are exhibiting the values and character traits we want to see in our little ones.
This can be a tricky road to navigate sometimes.
If you are in need of one-on-one support in your family, reach out to me through the contact page to set up a consultation.
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